Lost Valentine
by heartlandiansoisle
Summary: Ty/Amy and Valentines. This is old fic of mine, so there might be grammar errors. Three parts.
1. Chapter 1

It was supposed to be just a typical Monday morning. Amy woke up to her alarm like she always did and reached out to set it off, when she accidentally knocked off something from her night stand. A loud crash woke her up instantly.

"Wha–" she murmured as she sat up and rubbed her tired eyes. Looking on the floor, she noticed broken pieces of glass, a puddle of water and a rose lying in a one pile. It became clear to her the rose had been in a small vase and she had pushed it over the edge, therefore breaking the vase. "Oh, no…" She got up from the other side of the bed, so she wouldn't hurt her feet on the pieces, took her towel from the bed end and knelt down to stop the water from seeping into the floor panels. As the towel was covering the water, Amy took the rose and stared at it, wondering where it had appeared. Her gaze soon focused behind the rose, to her night stand, where she noticed a letter. The envelope read "AMY".

"Lou…" Amy walked out of her room, holding the letter and the rose. "What is this?"

"What is what?" her sister asked when she was adding salt to the porridge. She was busy making breakfast and looked over her shoulder quickly.

"It's… I think it's from… Ty", Amy said. Lou turned around and frowned from the mention of the name. "The rose and the letter. They were on my night stand when I woke up."

"What…?" Lou wondered. "But…"

"I know, it sounds crazy, but I recognize his handwriting", Amy said, swallowing dryly. Lou looked at her sister's face, noticing she was pale almost as she had seen a ghost.

"Well, does it say it's from him?" Lou asked.

"No, but… just something about it… I can't put my finger on it, it's just a feeling I get", Amy said and read the letter. _"Good morning. You look so beautiful today, as usual. I wish I could wake you up with a kiss, but since I can't, here's a rose to make you feel special. This is the first day of the rest of your life. Just remember that. I love you. Always."_

Lou walked to Amy and looked at the rose.

"That's so weird", she said.

"You didn't do this?" Amy made sure, holding back tears. Lou moved her eyes on her and shook her head.

"Of course not", Lou told her. "I didn't write this."

"And it's not from Peter either…?" Amy asked. "To you."

"I wish… But that's not Peter's handwriting. I can barely make out letters from anything he writes", Lou told her. Amy looked at the rose and felt a burn in her heart.

Amy went through the day, carrying the rose with her wherever she went and the thought of Ty wouldn't leave her alone. She kept the letter on her back pocket and checked it was still there every once in a while when she did mucking, riding and feeding. She wanted to pull it out and read it every hour, just to make sense of it all, but no matter how many times she did that, it still felt impossible.

The next morning, Amy woke up before the alarm and stared at the rose on her night stand. It was like it was mocking her, because she didn't know where it had come from. No one did. She had fallen asleep staring at it, trying to put the puzzle pieces together. It was on a vase so it wouldn't dry out even though it was not in the best condition anyway from all the dragging around. It was like she wanted to keep it alive just to keep Ty closer.

There was a knock on the door when Amy had not got up from the bed around her usual time.

"Amy…" Lou's voice said through the door. "You have a letter."

Amy jumped up and rushed to the door. She could feel her heart pacing fast on her chest, even if she didn't know what the letter was. But when she opened the door and met Lou's eyes, she knew.

"Is it…?" she asked as Lou handed it to her, without saying a word, almost like she didn't dare. This time it had stamp and her address on it. Amy took it and opened it with shaking hands. Same handwriting. She pulled the paper out from the envelope before she could even process it all. "I didn't know if you wanted it, but… it's up to you, not me."

 _"Morning. I hope it's a beautiful day when you get this",_ it read. _"I wish I could be there to see and experience it with you. Maybe I can. I think Harley might be bored in his stall about now, so why don't you take him for a ride? Take him to the place you love the most. Oh, and if you didn't already guess, it's me, Ty. I love you. Always."_

"What…? What does it say?" Lou asked when tears started streaming down on Amy's face. She worried about her sister.

"I-it says it's from him…" Amy tried to speak.

"What…? Are you sure–" the words died on her lips when she saw his name on the letter. Amy shook her head.

"What is this? Who's doing this to me?" Amy asked and tried to check the return address, but there was none. "This must be a cruel joke."

"Oh, Amy…" Lou said and hugged her tightly. Amy started crying even more and buried her face against her sister's shoulder.

Later that day, just before the sun was about to set on that February afternoon, Amy sat on top of a bale in the barn and stared blankly ahead, going through the words in the new letter. _"If you didn't already guess, it's me, Ty."_ But how could it be?

She looked at Harley. The horse was eyeing her from his stall. He had not been the same since the last fall, not after Ty had went away. It didn't hurt so much to look at him anymore, but Amy preferred not to ride him since he was Ty's and somewhere deep inside she hoped Ty would come back and ride him again.

Amy wasn't sure what took over her, but she got up and got Harley's stack. She didn't care if the letters were from Ty because somehow it felt like they were, and she had not felt as close to him like this for months. Maybe it was a cruel joke but it made Amy miss him even more, and she knew she could stay closer to him just by doing what the letter had said.

It made sense, Ty would want her to do this.

So she decided to take Harley for a ride.

Amy rode him to Caleb's trailer, to one of her favorite places. A place with many good memories, shared laughs and kisses. She looked at it from the distance, knowing Ty was not going to come out, bundled up to his grey winter coat, his hair all messy and his stubble unshaven. But when the door opened, for a moment Amy thought it was him.

She urged Harley to move forward and rode up to the hill. When she reached the trailer, Caleb was closing the door and heading to his truck.

"Caleb", Amy said and Caleb turned around. He was almost startled.

"Amy… I didn't expect to see you here", he admitted and looked at her. She had not really left Heartland for months, not even to take long trail rides. Amy got down from the horse and that's when Caleb realized what she was doing. "You're riding Harley…?"

"Yeah…" Amy said, the word almost getting caught up her throat. "Listen… I have something to ask from you, Caleb."

"Okay. What is it?" he asked.

"You're not in a hurry, are you?" Amy wondered since he was next to his truck.

"No, I was just going to get some parts to the heating system from the town. It's broken - again. That damned thing. But it can wait. It's good to see you. How are you doing?" he asked.

"I'm fine", Amy lied. She reached inside of her winter coat and pulled out the letters. "Did you sent these?"

Caleb took the letters.

"It's okay if you did, I'm not mad at you, I just need to know", Amy asked. Caleb went through them and looked at her.

"Aren't these from… Ty?" he was confused.

"Well, so it seems, but… that one came yesterday and that one today, so…" Amy shrugged. Caleb stared at her. "I know, it sounds crazy."

"You're right. It does", Caleb nodded. "But I did not sent these", he handed them back. "I wouldn't do that to you."

Amy took them and nodded. She felt disappointed. Maybe it would have been hurtful to know it had been Caleb all along, but at least she would have known their origin. Now it was still a mystery.

"Is that why you…" Caleb gestured to Harley. Amy felt ashamed to be so easily tricked, but she nodded anyway. "I don't know, man. Just seems kind of cruel of them, if you ask me, whoever it is that did this to you. Just when things are starting to get back to normal… when you're getting back on your feet", he shook his head. "I'm really sorry, Amy."

"It's okay… I gotta go", she felt another wave of sadness washing over her, so she mounted Harley and turned him away, hiding her face behind her hair. "See ya."

"Yeah, see ya", Caleb said. He watched as she disappeared into the view.

Amy rode downhill, her view getting blurry from the tears. She let Harley lead her back to Heartland, wondering if she would get another letter tomorrow. Part of her didn't want to, but another part of her was curious.


	2. Chapter 2

Amy kept tossing and turning in her sleep, her mind restless from all the thoughts she kept repeating over and over again. Turning on her side, she was feeling the sadness weighting on her chest, almost making it hard to breathe. When her tears dropped against her pillow, she felt Ty's strong arms around her. His breath tickled her neck as he pressed a kiss on it.

"Ty…"

"It's okay, Amy. I'm here", he whispered.

"I've missed you so much… Please, don't leave me again", Amy sniffled silently. "Don't ever leave me again."

"I will never leave you", Ty assured. "I will always be with you."

"I'm scared I'll forget you", Amy confessed. "It's so hard to remember how you looked, how you sounded and smelled… I miss it… I miss you", she kept repeating.

"It'll stay with you, I promise."

"Stay with me, please. I don't wanna be alone tonight", she said, her words sounding like a mumble against the pillow.

"I'm here. Don't worry, I'm here", Ty whispered before Amy was finally able to fall asleep. She felt calmer and her breathing got lighter.

"Amy… Are you awake?"

A knock on the door. Amy turned around, waiting to see Ty behind her, but the bed was empty and the other side was made. No one had been there. Amy sighed and started crying, holding her head.

"Amy…?" Lou's worried voice reached through the door. She opened the door and saw her whimpering sister on the bed. "Amy, oh, Amy", the older sister climbed on the bed and came to hold her.

"I thought he was here", Amy cried. Lou caressed her gently. "I felt his hands around me, he spoke to me. It was like he was holding me."

"I'm so sorry…" Lou said and kissed her hair.

"It's not fair…" Amy took in a sharp breath. "He was so young, we were only just getting started."

"Death never is", Lou whispered, pressing her cheek against Amy's temple. Amy fiddled her clothes, cradled inside Lou's arms. "I'm just glad you had the time you did… And he loved you very much."

"I love him too…" Amy cried. She felt Lou hiding something behind her back and it caught her attention. "Another letter…?" she asked with a voice that sounded so innocent and almost child-like.

"It's not–" Lou started. Amy moved away from her arms and tried to see.

"Lou, is it? Another letter?" Amy asked.

"I don't know if you should read them. It's obvious you're upset", Lou worried. She sat up and kept the letter hidden. "It'll only gonna make you feel worse. I don't want to see that. You were just getting better and–"

"Lou, give it to me", Amy demanded.

"But, Amy, look at you, you're–"

"It's not gonna make me feel any worse than I already do", Amy assured, but Lou was not convinced.

"I'm not gonna pick up the pieces again. I can't have you like that again", Lou said and got up from the bed. "It's clear these letters are messing with your head."

"No, they're not", Amy said and followed her, trying to take it from her.

"Look at you", Lou said. "It's like you're an addict."

"Lou, they are for me, so give it to me", Amy said and wiped her eyes.

"I'm just worried about you, Amy", Lou said. "That's all."

"I'm fine. I really am", Amy spoke. Lou sighed and looked at her and then the letter. She felt bad about keeping it from her, but she also knew she did that for a reason. "Please."

Lou finally handed the letter to her. Amy grabbed it and opened it. There wasn't much she could do. On top of Amy being sad, she couldn't have her angry too. It would only take her away from her again.

 _"Hello, beautiful. I was thinking you might need a break from everything, so why don't you treat yourself? Go to Maggie's, have anything you want, it's on me. I love you, always. Ty",_ it read. Amy looked inside the envelope and noticed dollar bills. She smiled a little. Lou noticed it too and thought maybe it was good after all, but what would happen when the letters stopped? They couldn't go on forever.

Amy opened Maggie's door and felt like her lungs had suddenly stopped from working. It almost made her nauseous, because she had not been there for months. The place had too many memories and too many curious eyes. "Oh, that's the Fleming girl, the one who lost her fiancé to the big C", they would think. Gossip - it ate you up from inside just like cancer.

"I can't do this…" Amy was about to turn around when someone called her name.

"Amy", Mallory noticed her as she walked by the door, holding a coffee pan. "Wow… You're–" she stopped herself from saying anything. "You want coffee? Pie? Maybe lunch? We have some great specials", Mallory started talking, realizing it would not end if she wouldn't end it.

After the funeral, Amy had been so out of reach, Mallory had not known what to say to her. It was almost like all those clichés of what not to say to someone who was mourning were all she could think of.

"I don't know", Amy said, turning around. "I'm not really hungry", she noticed herself saying, but then she remembered the letter. "Just… something. Anything."

"Okay, well you like chocolate milkshakes, right?" Mallory remembered. "Would you like one?"

"I guess", Amy shrugged. She was waiting for everyone to look at her, but no one did. It was like she was… normal.

"Well, take a seat, I'll be with you shortly", Mallory said.

That night, Amy was sitting in front of the fire place and staring at the coals. Jack walked to the living room, holding two cups of herbal tea.

"Here's one for you", Jack said and handed the green cup to Amy. She got alerted, but a gentle smile formed on her lips when she realized what Jack was giving to her.

"Thanks, grandpa", Amy said and took it. Jack nodded and sat beside her. He noticed the letters on her lap.

"Lou told me about the letters", Jack said. "What are they about?"

"Apparently they are from Ty", Amy explained, knowing grandpa would think her crazy too.

"Ty, huh?" he asked and looked at her reaction. "I haven't heard you say his name in a while now."

"I know… It's kind of weird", Amy said. "It's almost like it's a word from some foreign language I don't know or… had forgotten. But it's back now."

She took a sip.

"So what, they just keep coming every day?" Jack asked, not knowing what to think about this letter business, but it had changed Amy somehow. She was dealing with the loss, talking about Ty again. As painful as it was to see and hear, it still felt better than her silence.

"It seems like it, yeah. I mean they've come three days in a row now", Amy said.

"But… how is that possible? As far as I know they don't have a postal office on the other side", he smiled emphatically, hoping she wouldn't hurt Amy.

"It doesn't make sense, I know it. But… he's here. I can feel it. Like a shadow, making sure I do these things. I don't know why. They're not even that… special. Just casual things I do anyway", Amy said and looked at the letters.

"Do you?" Jack asked. "Caleb told me you were riding Harley and Mallory said she saw you at Maggie's. As far as I can tell, you haven't done those things for months."

Amy looked at Jack. He had a point. It felt weird, almost like Ty had known she would stop doing normal things after his death. Amy looked at the fire again, wondering if that was why she got these letters.

But how did Ty knew it if he wasn't there to see it himself?


	3. Chapter 3

The letters kept coming, for the next four days. They had little tasks for Amy, like going out to movies with Lou and teaching Georgie something new about natural horsemanship, but on the sixth day Ty asked Amy to collect everything of his from her room and to put them into a box. Amy felt bad about it and she wondered why Ty would be asking for such a thing, but as she went through the things, like the engagement ring and the painting that had survived the plane crash, she started thinking they didn't feel like they belonged to her anymore. It was like they stood out somehow. Like they were memorabilia. Something of his.

She put the stuff away into boxes and locked them to the attic, just like Ty had asked. In the letter it had said _"keep them there, but when you feel like you don't miss them anymore, feel free to throw them away"._

Amy was sitting in the kitchen, looking at the letters and feeling guilty.

"Everything okay?" Lou asked.

"Yeah. I just did what he wanted", Amy explained.

"You put the things away?" Lou checked. Amy nodded. "It must've been hard."

"It was… It was like I was shutting him away, but… he asked me to do that, so…" Amy said. "I guess for the first time since the first days I'm wondering if it's really him."

"Oh..?" Lou asked and sat down to keep her company.

"Like these post stamps… They are from Hudson", Amy said. "Maybe someone's just playing some sick prank with me. Watching me, following me. Maybe that's why I feel he's close."

"Why would anyone do that?" Lou asked.

"Why does anyone do anything", Amy looked at her.

"Okay, let's say it's him. Maybe you don't want to believe he's telling this to you", Lou suggested. "Maybe you don't want to put him away and it's making you doubt all of this."

"I don't want to put him away", Amy said, sure of what she was stating. "The other things, they felt good because I was doing things with others, but this is different… it's more painful. More personal. I'm on my own."

Lou reached over the table and took her hand.

"It's supposed to be", Lou said. "It means it's a big deal."

"Maybe these get harder", Amy said and looked at the letters. "I don't know how I will feel about it."

"How long do you think they will go on?" Lou asked and took a sip of her tea. Amy shrugged. "You can't wait for them to go on forever."

"I know, I don't even know how it's possible they've come so long", Amy said. "I guess I'll just wait and see."

Lou nodded again and looked at Amy.

The next day, another letter arrived. Amy hesitated when she was about to open it. Maybe they really got harder from now on. So far it had been exciting, almost fun, but now it was beginning to feel scarier. She wanted to ask him why he was making her do these things. Amy was starting to feel angry and frustrated, not knowing what was going on.

Why did he even try to control her life like this? How did he dare to do this to her?

But then she decided to open the letter, because at least she wanted to know what it said before making up her mind about everything. It was up to her anyway, it was not like he was there to force her.

The letter had another envelope inside. Amy frowned and read what it said.

 _"Don't open until 8 pm."_

This would be a very long day, she thought.

Throughout the day, Amy went through a lot of feelings. Anger, sadness, confusion, missing, curiosity - and everything all over again. She kept checking the time, even though it was obvious it was not yet 8 pm. But when the H-hour was getting closer, Amy started counting minutes.

When it was almost 8 pm, Amy tore the envelope open.

 _"Go to the Dude Ranch. I will be waiting for you."_

What?

What?

Amy kept reading the letter again. "I will be waiting for you"? What was that supposed to mean?

There was only one way to find out.

Amy rushed to the hall, took her jacket and grandpa's keys. She ran to his truck, trying not to slip because the yard was covered in ice. Her hands were shaking, but not entirely from the cold.

 _I will be waiting for you._ The words echoed in her head.

How was it possible? He was dead. Was this a dream? Was this a trick? What was going on?

When she arrived to the Dude Ranch, there were lights on in one of the cabins. Amy's heart kept pounding wildly in her chest and she was sure it would burst through her skin.

Slamming the truck door shut, Amy kept her eyes on the cabin, not knowing if she should have checked how she looked. If Ty was really there, she didn't want to look like hell - which she probably did, because these days she didn't really feel like looking after herself. Brushing her hair and teeth, that was her beauty regime now.

Amy walked to the porch and reached out her hand to the handle.

This was it. This would be the moment of truth.

She pushed the door open and walked in. Her steps echoed.

There were little candled everywhere. They had been spread on every surface, and the fireplace was making sure the place was warm despite the freezing air that kept creeping in from every corner. Amy looked around. There was no sight of anyone.

"Ty…?" she called out and felt a bit stupid for believing he was here. There was no answer. She sat on the bed and sighed.

But what was with all the candles then?

Amy felt something under her backside and moved a bit to see what she had sat on. It was a remote control and it had a note that said: "PLAY ME".

Amy pressed the play button, not knowing what to expect. The television in the corner turned on. Amy stared at it and saw Ty's face on the screen. Her heart skipped a beat as she looked at the face of her late fiance.

 _"I guess this is on",_ Ty said. Amy felt pain in her chest from hearing his voice again. He looked good - healthy and lively. Not thin, bald or pale. She wondered when this had been filmed. Long before the last few days at least. _"So… when you're watching this, it's Valentine's Day."_

Amy had not even realized it was 14th of February. She had been too concentrated on the letters and it did not even matter anymore. She had no Valentine to share the day with.

 _"I just got my diagnose few days ago and the doctors said I'm looking at two to three months. So… that means, if they are right, I'm not there to see Christmas, New Year, your birthday or this day, to name few. Which sucks. I know all of those days are going to be hard for you, but I thought I'd save this to Valentine's, because Christmas and New Year's might be too soon. But, I see you've been getting my letters",_ he smiled.

Amy started crying, but kept staring at him through the tears. It really had been him. She had not been crazy.

 _"I hope they've been okay. I just wanted you to have something. Show you that life is worth waking up every day, worth spending the days with the ones you love and who love you. Life goes on, even without me. I know it's not gonna be the same, but… I'm not too worried for you. You're a strong and you have good people around you. That being said, I think you get what those letters were about: I want you to keep living your life. There will be no more letters after this, no more me, but I will still always be with you. And I don't want you to feel guilty about living, smiling and loving. I want the best for you. I'm sorry for everything I must have put you through."_

Amy got up from the bed and went closer to see Ty better.

 _"So, from now on, you keep writing those letters for yourself - inside your head. Do things you love to do, things that make you happy",_ he kept staring at the camera for a while and Amy could see longing in his eyes. He cleared his throat and picked himself up. _"Well, that's it, I guess. – Oh, one more thing: and this is important one. Even if I'm not there and even if you fall in love with someone else... I will love you. Always."_

She pressed her hand on his cheek made of pixels and watched him smirking. My god, how she still loved that man.

 _"Bye",_ he said before the screen turned to dark. Amy started sobbing and she took a better hold on the remote control to play it again, when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She was startled. Turning around, Amy noticed it was Lou. She was holding back tears too.

"What are you doing here…?" Amy wondered.

"He came to me, asked my help", Lou told her. Amy frowned. "When he got the diagnose, he filmed that, handed me the letters, told me to send them to you week before Valentine's Day", her voice was frail.

"You knew… all this time?" Amy asked.

Lou nodded, even though she knew it would probably make Amy feel betrayed. But it would have ruined it all had she told her everything.

"I wanted to tell you, so many times. And before all of this, when you were doing better, I almost thought of not doing this, because I was scared it would send you right back where you were after he died - but I promised him. And I couldn't break that promise. It was his will."

Amy nodded a little and turned to hug her sister.

"Thank you…" Amy whispered. Lou hold her tight, feeling like she had done the right thing. "Thank you for honoring him."

"Of course. He loved you so much…"

"I know…" Amy said. "I love him too."

 _Inspired by the book and movie P.S. I Love You._


End file.
